i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
