My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
