also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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