everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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