No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
