he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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