Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
