no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
