i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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