i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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