bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
