I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there was a trapeze. enough said
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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