Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
