i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's like iHOP with fire
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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