Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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