After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
