HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Randomize
