Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
