nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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