they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
