My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
