i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
