Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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