That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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