This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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