You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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