I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
