my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
