Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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