her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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