Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
