Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
