I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
