Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
