hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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