all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
