I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she peed on how many people?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
