Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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