can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
