I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
