So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The adults are the big ones right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
