kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
