My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
