its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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