Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
