it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
