I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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