i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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