It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wear drunk well.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
