Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
